Focus cards
Once or twice a season, sit down with each child for a short chat. The card supports that conversation. It doesn't replace it.
Two lists and nothing to rank: going well and focus for now. Pick up to two in each list. The QR code on the card builds a home plan for the family.
What to say, and what never to say
Younger children read their ability off the adults around them, so what you say is their evidence about themselves. Name the action, keep the comparison inside the child, and turn every miss into a plan.
A strength can also be a focus, because you can always build on what you're good at. The home plan from the QR code starts with a short note for the family on how to talk about it.
| Say this | Not this | Why |
|---|---|---|
| "You chased back straight away. That's work hard." | "Good boy." "Good girl." | It names what to repeat |
| "Did you beat your own number?" | "Who got the most?" | It keeps the comparison inside the child |
| "What will you try next go?" | "No, that's wrong." | It turns a miss into a plan |
| "Go again!" | "Unlucky", or a groan | It resets in two words |
| "You took your defender on. That's brave." | "You should have passed." | It rewards the choice, not the result |
| "Your practice foot" | "Your other foot is the problem" | Both feet are just feet that need practice |
| "Who did you help tonight?" | "Who scored?" | It asks about the habit |
What never goes on a card
- Numbers of any kind: counts, times, goals, test scores.
- Red, amber or green.
- "For his age", "for her age", "ahead", "behind", "expected", "best", "top".
- Size, speed, position or selection.
- Anything about another child.
If a parent asks how their child compares with the others
"I only ever compare your child with your child, and I never talk about other children with other parents. Here's what's changed since last time, and here's what we're working on next." Then show the card. If it comes up a second time, pass it to the head of youth development through the contact form.